Gambling

AFM Gambling Services Information Sheet
Help For problem Gambling
Services available at AFM
AFM Problem Gambling Helpline
Older Adults & Gambling

To find out what services are available in your area of the province, please call the 24 Hour Gambling Helpline at:

1-800-463-1554 (toll free)

AFM counsellors can help you to:

• understand how you and your family have been affected by gambling
• plan the steps you need to take to make changes
• get support as you put your plan into action

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• Community Services
• Residential Programs

Community Services

Orientation to Problem Gambling Services
This group session is for people having problems because of their own involvement with gambling, as well as for those having problems because of someone else's gambling activities. An AFM counsellor provides information about problem gambling and describes the help that is available to prevent any further harm in people's life from gambling.

Individual Counselling
AFM provides free, confidential individual counselling for people having problems because of their gambling or having problems because of someone else's gambling. Trained counsellors are available Monday to Friday from 8:30-4:30.

Gambling Treatment Group
This 8-week program is held one evening per week. Two trained AFM counsellors provide education and support for a lifestyle without gambling.

Continuing Care Group
These meetings provide ongoing support for those who have completed the gambling treatment group or the residential program. The group meets weekly with a counselor.

Telephone Counselling
Telephone counselling is available for people unable to meet in person with a counsellor. An appointment with a counsellor is scheduled, and a workbook with information and worksheets is sent to participants.

Residential Program

Residential Problem Gambling Program
AFM offers a 14-day residential program for both men and women. The program takes place at the Parkwood Treatment Centre in Brandon, and is available for problem gamblers no matter where they live in the province.

Parkwood is a bright, two-story building with a resident's lounge, a kitchen and dining room, a resource library and comfortable bedrooms. Residents who choose to come to Parkwood are warmly welcomed by staff and are encouraged to make themselves at home.

The program offered at Parkwood includes a variety of activities, as well as individual and group counselling every day. Participants learn how gambling affects the mind, the body and relationships between family members. Then, they work with a counsellor to plan changes in their lifestyle.

Individual needs of the residents are taken into consideration. As well as co-ed group sessions, residents have the opportunity to participate in same-sex groups, allowing for specific gender issues to be addressed. Couple counselling and financial information is also available. Family members and other significant people in the residents' lives are encouraged to attend family sessions at the beginning and end of the program.

Once the program is completed, participants can receive ongoing support through their local AFM office.

To find out how to attend Parkwood, call your local AFM office or the 24-hour Gambling Helpline at:
1-800-463-1554 (toll free)

To check out 10 Warning Signs That You Might Have a Gambling Problem, click here.

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Many people have experienced the feeling of having spent more time and money gambling than they planned or could comfortably afford. If you've ever found yourself in this position, it might mean that for you, gambling is becoming more than just a casual form of entertainment.

If you have any concerns about your gambling, please call the 24 hour Gambling Helpline to talk to one of our counsellors.

• is free and confidential
• provides information and referral services
• offers interpretation services for most languages
• is available 24 hours a day

The AFM offers free counselling with trained professional counsellors. Call the Gambling Helpline to find out more.

Anyone who is concerned about someone else's gambling can also access free counselling services through the Helpline.

More Information
Check out "Information forFamily and Friends of Problem Gamblers" if someone you love is having problems with gambling.

Check out "How do I know if I have a gambling problem ?" for more information on the signs of problem gambling.

http://www.gamtalk.org/  
You are not alone!  GamTalk is an online community for people with gambling issues to share their experiences and ideas.  Whether you have a gambling problem, know someone who does, have stopped gambling completely, or just want to get ideas on playing safely, GamTalk can help.

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How Gambling Works

Most people realize that, if you play lotteries, VLTs, slots or other casino games, you will spend more money than you will win in the long run. This is because the operators of these games are in a business that is designed to make money.

If you are interested in understanding more about the most common forms of gambling and how gambling works, check out www.getgamblingfacts.ca

This interactive website includes information on the following:

• How casino games work
• Player cost per hour chart
• Myths and mistaken beliefs
• The psychology of gambling

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Responsible Gaming Information

Staff at the RGIC provides:

• information on randomness and house advantage in casino games
• information on how slot machines work
• information on how much it will cost to play casino games
• tips on safe, responsible gambling strategies
• information on the Casinos of Winnipeg Voluntary Exclusion Programs
• information, counselling and/or referral for people who are concerned about their own gambling or someone else's gambling

McPhillips Street Station Casino
484 McPhillips St
Phone: 985-1240

Club Regent Casino
1425 Regent Ave West
Phone: 985-0419

For more information on Responsible Gaming visit:

To check out 10 Warning Signs That You Might Have a Gambling Problem, click here.

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Information for Family & Friends of Problem Gamblers

The information on these pages is designed to assist people who are affected by someone else's gambling, whether that person be a family member or a friend. The information includes:

Note: For immediate help about someone's gambling problem, please call the 24-hour Gambling Helpline at:
1-800-463-1554 (toll free)

The Signs of Problem Gambling may help you to determine whether someone you know or love may have a gambling problem. (Click on the link for a list of the signs of problem gambling.

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Gamblers may be able to keep their activities a secret by doing one or more of the following:

• lying about how they spend their time and money
• controlling all the family's finances
• directing their mail to their place of business or a post office box
• obtaining credit in their name only
• forging signatures for personal loans or mortgages

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In Manitoba, researchers have found that about five percent of people over 60, which translates to almost 10,000 people, have been hurt by someone they know who is gambling too much. The problem gambler is usually an adult child, a brother, a sister or a spouse. Many of these seniors try to help by giving money, listening to the gambler's problems, and sometimes looking after grandchildren. They are also affected by:

• having promises repeatedly broken
• lending money when they did not think they should
• being yelled at or hit
• feeling neglected or used

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The following 20 questions from Gam-Anon, a self-help organization for people affected by someone else's gambling, will help you determine if your loved one has a gambling problem:

1. Do you find yourself constantly bothered by bill collectors?
2. Is the person in question away from home for long, unexplained periods of time?
3. Does this person ever lose time from work due to gambling?
4. Do you feel that this person cannot be trusted with money?
5. Does the person in question faithfully promise that he or she will stop gambling or beg and plead for another chance, yet gamble again and again?
6. Does this person ever gamble longer than he or she intended to - until the last dollar is gone?
7. Does this person ever gamble to get money to solve financial difficulties or have unrealistic expectations that gambling will bring the family material comfort and wealth?
8. Does this person immediately return to gambling to try to recover losses or to win more?
9. Does this person borrow money to gamble or to pay gambling debts?
10. Has this person's reputation ever suffered due to gambling, even to the extent of committing illegal acts to finance gambling?
11. Have you come to the point of hiding money needed for living expenses, knowing that you and the rest of the family may go without food and clothing if you do not?
12. Do you search this person's clothing, go through his or her wallet when the opportunity presents itself, or otherwise check on his or her activities?
13. Do you hide his or her money?
14. Have you noticed a significant change in the gambler as his or her gambling progresses?
15. Does the person in question consistently lie to cover-up or deny his or her gambling activities?
16. Does this person use guilt induction to shift responsibilities for his or her gambling activities?
17. Do you attempt to anticipate this person's moods or try to control his or her life?
18. Does this person ever suffer from remorse or depression due to gambling, sometimes to the point of threatening self-destruction?
19. Has gambling ever brought you to the point of threatening to break up the family unit?
20. Do you feel that your life together is a nightmare?

If you answered "yes" to at least six of the above questions you may be living with a compulsive gambler. Help is available for you and the gambler.

Source: Gam-Anon
More information about how families are affected by addiction is available on AFM's Family Services page.

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While no one can make gamblers stop gambling, you can support them by: talking to them about their gambling, not giving or loaning money, becoming knowledgeable about problem gambling and encouraging the person to seek help:

• Ask the person about his or her gambling. If you think there might be a problem, the direct approach is best.
• Consider how you might be willing to support or assist if the person is having a problem. Tell them you care about them.
• If you think there is a problem with gambling, tell them what you have observed. Then ask for their feedback on your observations.
• Try to avoid arguments, and don't blame the person. These approaches may cause defensive behaviour in the gambler.
• Use a positive approach so the person feels your concern and understands that there are some ways that you would consider helping.

Don't offer to give or loan money

• It's tough for family members and friends to watch a problem gambler run into financial problems. But the question is, should money be loaned or given in these circumstances?
• The experts say "no." This may sound uncaring, but it's really the only thing you can do so that the gambler will experience the consequences of his or her gambling. If problem gamblers are bailed out, they don't have to face the financial problems and can continue to gamble, adding to future problems.
• However, you can still make it clear that you will stand by the gambler and be there to support him or her.

Become knowledgeable about problem gambling

• You will be better able to help both yourself and the problem gambler if you gather as much information as possible about the problem.
• Becoming more knowledgeable will also help you to prepare for future issues, enabling you to minimize the impact that problem gambling may have on you and your family.

Encourage the person to seek help

• Problem gamblers often need encouragement to obtain professional help or support, and they may not be able to control the problem without this help.
• You can talk to the person about this, and provide contact information for counselling and support services. For more information on how to get help, please call the 24 hour Gambling Helpline at 1-800-463-1554 (toll free).

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Family and friends of problem gamblers often harbour feelings of guilt, shame and helplessness. As well, there may be feelings of frustration and anger caused by the impact of the gambling. People affected by problem gambling may not know where to turn or who to talk to for assistance, so isolation may occur.

There are several things you can do to lessen the impact of the problem gambling on yourself and your family: protecting your finances, maintaining your physical and emotional well-being and taking time for yourself.

• Visit your financial advisors (banks, RRSP accounts, etc.) to make sure you have control over the finances that you are able to control.
• You may choose whether or not to tell your financial advisors about the gambling problem in your family. In some instances, divulging the problem may not be in your best interest.
• Don't let the gambler have unnecessary access to cash and credit that you can control on your own or have the gambler's cooperation to control.
• Put your family on a budget that allows for spending money, but not access to money required for necessities.
• Don't assume the gambler's debt.
• Talk to financial experts to find out what your rights are regarding another person's debt and to get professional advice on your finances.
• Don't sign anything you don't understand without professional advice.

Maintain your physical and emotional well-being
Physical or emotional abuse is not acceptable at any time or in any situation. Don't let the gambler blame you or harm you. Your safety is the top priority, so do whatever is necessary to keep safe. In severe situations, this may mean calling the police or finding an alternate living arrangement.

Take time for yourself

• You may find yourself so wrapped up in the gambler's problem and its impact on you and your family that you become resentful and angry.
• It's important to put the problem out of your mind at times so you can have some happy, stress-free time to yourself.
• Take time to participate in the activities you enjoy and to spend time with friends. Doing this will give you the break you need to enable you to better deal with the problem.

For more information on helping yourself, call the AFM Gambling Helpline at: 1-800-463-1554 (toll free).

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Not talking about problems, especially "THE PROBLEM" is a very common behaviour in families with addictions.

Not telling children is often initially motivated by love and protectiveness but can get knotted up together with fear. Trying to protect the child from information is misguided as children know when something is wrong. Giving it a name helps them understand what is happening in their lives and why.

Expected benefits
Talking about the addiction in the family and how you are working to change are important steps to building your relationships with your children.

When you deny the problem you isolate from your child. Acknowledging that one parent is struggling with addiction gives children hope and a sense of security. Children feel more secure when they have the knowledge that at least one of their parents is healthy, unafraid and can see their reality.

Sharing feelings is an important step toward developing emotional health. When you encourage your children to identify and talk about their feelings about difficult topics like a parent's addiction, you're helping them to understand that these feelings are normal.

Children and stress
Reach out to your children whether or not they ever ask any questions, whether they seem fine or are acting out their stress. It's hard to imagine a child growing up or visiting in a home with addiction and not being affected. Let's dispel the myth that some children don't need to know.

Some children react to stress by holding feelings inside while others will act out what they cannot express. Children that hold feelings in may try very hard to be good, working extra hard in school and making few demands on adults. This child may be a worrier, have low self-esteem, or be fearful, shy, or prone to cry easily. Physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches or frequent illnesses are common in children who internalize stress. Children that act feelings out may lose their tempers easily, become demanding or destructive, or may tease or bully other children.

Finding the balance...
Sometimes parents are walking a tightrope between secrecy and openness where children are concerned.

What's too little information
Consider which information is toxic to the parent/child relationship and needs to be shared. Anything that the child could interpret as an adult not caring for them should be given a reasonable explanation that clarifies the adult's feelings for the child.

Growing children who are struggling to make sense of confounding messages from their parents pay a big price as more and more of their energy and attention gets drawn into responding to mystery. When a mother or father shows intense but unexplained emotion, works hard to hide what she/he is feeling, or unaccountably withdraws, children experience distress. They may become detectives, create elaborate fantasies, blame themselves, or develop painful symptoms.

What's too much information
Children can be informed that some matters are being worked out between adults (counselling, meetings). Children watch us carefully and when they see us taking care of business they return to their own lives. They do not need to know the adult content of these matters just that the adult is attending to their own needs. Any information that is shared should reflect healthy parent child boundaries and always take each child's age into consideration.

What to expect
Talking about addiction and recovery will be a process not an event. Children do not hear the way adults do. It may seem as if information did not matter but every child takes in new and potentially loaded information in his or her own unique way. It doesn't mean a child did not take it in or was not affected by information if they run off to play or don't ask any questions. Questions often come later unconnected to the initial telling.

The doing...
Don't overwhelm children with everything you want them to know all at once. Be prepared to initiate revisiting the topic from time to time. They have learned not to talk about it so they need modeling and encouragement to break old patterns.

Assess what they are ready to hear, what they need to know and how to best communicate with each child in language appropriate to their age. Your children still love your spouse, even though they don't like his or her addictive behaviour. Help them to understand that this is okay. It's possible to love someone very much even though the way they are behaving makes you feel sad and disappointed.

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People who worry about someone else's gambling experience a great deal of stress and often benefit from connecting with treatment resources themselves. Talking about things with someone who understands can help to make sense of what seems like an overwhelming situation.

Counselling is available to family members. Family members may access AFM services with or without the person with the gambling problem.

In Winnipeg, family members can attend a Gambling Services Orientation. In other locations, families can call their local AFM office to find out about services.

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• immediate support is received
• families learn from each other
• the isolation that often surrounds addiction is broken
• Gam-Anon locations or contacts can be found by calling the Gambling Helpline (toll free at 1-800-463-1554) or by accessing the Gam-Anon website.

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Families can benefit from educating themselves about gambling and addiction because it gives them a clearer picture about what they are facing. Here are some recommendations.

Behind the 8 Ball: A Guide for Families of Gamblers by Linda Berman. 1998. (Simon & Schuster)

Don't Leave it to Chance: A Guide for Families of Problem Gamblers by E. Federman, C.Drebing and C. Krebs. 2000. (New Harbinger Publications)

Losing Your Shirt : Recovery for Compulsive Gamblers and their Families by Mary Heineman. 1999 (CompCare Publishers)

It's Not About the Money. Hazelden Video

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Older Adults & Gambling

For older adults who gamble:

Most older adults gamble.  The favorite gambling activities tend to be lottery or raffle tickets, slot machines or bingo.  They gamble for the following reasons:

• Have some fun and excitement
• Win money
• Give to charity
• Be with people
• Have something to do

Gambling suits the needs of older adults very well.  Gambling opportunities are close to home or bus trips to gambling places are provided.  Casinos, bingo halls, lottery kiosks, VLT sites tend to be in buildings that are one level and spacious, and older adults can go any time of day or night,  or any day of the year.  The games are easy to learn and an older adult can interact with other people as much or as little as they like and still feel comfortable.

Risk factors for older adults:

However, situations that can put an older adult at risk of spending too much money or time on gambling include:

• Unsure about what to do in retirement
• Unaware of resources and new opportunities
• Undecided about their goals in retirement
• Widowed
• Unhappy in a marriage or with adult children
• Dealing with a serious medical condition like Parkinson’s Disease, heart problems, or cancer
• Experiencing financial stress
• Care giving to adult children or spouse

When gambling is a problem:

There are special things to consider when an older adult’s gambling causes problems:

• It is easy to hide gambling from other people when there is more free time, fewer responsibilities and less contact with others.
• Financial damage is often permanent.
• Problem gambling can lead to feelings of depression, desperation and hopelessness.  Compared to other age groups, older adults are at highest risk of completing suicide.
• Replacing gambling with meaningful, satisfying, active opportunities is key to recovery.
• Limiting access to money is more difficult with older adults who live alone and have few supports.  Strategies need to be creative and flexible.
• Older adults are more successful with reducing or stopping their gambling than any other age group.

When an older adult calls to get counseling for a gambling problem

Keep these things in mind:

• Very few problem gambling services have staff that specializes in older adults. If having a counselor with gerontology training is important, ask for that type of service.
  
• If it is not available, ask the problem gambling services counselor to get advice from older adult services about how to deal with aging issues effectively, or
  
• Look for counseling offered through older adult services.  Ask that the counselor get advice from problem gambling services about how to deal with that issue.

• If getting to the service location is difficult, tell the counseling service that transportation is a barrier to getting the office.  A good program will negotiate with an older adult about how to provide services that match the older adult’s needs.  Some programs will come to the home or can offer telephone counseling.

• Tell the staff person if you use mobility aids like a cane, walker or wheelchair or if you have vision or hearing difficulties. 

• Ask if the office building is age friendly with:
• Easy to open doors
• Elevator
• Ramp
• Railings on both sides of stairways
• Easy to read signs
• Front entrances that are clear of ice and snow
• Handicapped parking

With support, many older adults with problem gambling concerns make changes that lead to happier, healthier lifestyles and relationships.

Helping Yourself

Many people who gamble occasionally are able to control the amount of time and money they spend. For them, gambling can be a harmless form of recreation.

Other people have trouble controlling their gambling, and it causes problems in their lives. Sometimes people don't realize that their gambling is getting out of hand until problems become too big to ignore.

Look through this list of warning signs that gambling is becoming a problem. If you recognize any of these, you might want to get some help.

10 Warning Signs That You Might Have a Gambling Problem.

• spend more time or money on gambling than you can afford or had planned
• borrow money to gamble
• gamble with money meant for essentials, such as food, rent, etc.
• neglect important responsibilities, such as work, school or family, to gamble
• lie about or cover up the extent of your gambling
• chase your losses to try and get your money back
• argue with your friends and family, especially about money issues
• have unpaid bills and increasing debts due to your gambling
• feel regret about your gambling behavior
• think about gambling a lot

If any of these things have happened to you, check out AFM's confidential and free
24-Hour Problem Gambling Helpline:
1-800-463-1554 toll free.

For more information...

Check out "Family and Friends of Problem Gamblers" if someone you know has any of these signs.

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